ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴ ʟʏʀɪᴄs
ᴍᴀʏ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ?
ᴍᴀʏ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ?
ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ?
ɪ ʀᴇᴘᴇᴀᴛ, ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ?
ᴡᴇ’ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇʏ’ᴀʟʟ ᴀᴄᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ
ᴊᴀᴡs ᴀʟʟ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴘᴀᴍ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏᴍᴍʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴜʀsᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴏʀ
ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴏᴏᴘɪɴ’ ʜᴇʀ ᴀss ᴡᴏʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ
ᴛʜᴇʏ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ, ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɪɴ’ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ғᴜʀɴɪᴛᴜʀᴇ (ᴀʜ)
ɪᴛ’s ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ… “ᴀʜ ᴡᴀɪᴛ, ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢ
ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴀʏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅ, ᴅɪᴅ ʜᴇ?”
ᴀɴᴅ ᴅʀ. ᴅʀᴇ sᴀɪᴅ, ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴ’, ʏᴏᴜ ɪᴅɪᴏᴛs
ᴅʀ. ᴅʀᴇ’s ᴅᴇᴀᴅ, ʜᴇ’s ʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴀsᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ (ʜᴀʜᴀ)
ғᴇᴍɪɴɪsᴛ ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴇᴍɪɴᴇᴍ
“ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴀ, ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴀ, ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴀ, sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ɪ’ᴍ sɪᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʜɪᴍ
ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʜɪᴍ, ᴡᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ɢʀᴀʙʙɪɴ’ ʜɪs ʏᴏᴜ-ᴋɴᴏᴡ-ᴡʜᴀᴛ
ғʟɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴏᴜ-ᴋɴᴏᴡ-ᴡʜᴏ” “ʏᴇᴀʜ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ’s sᴏ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ, ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ”
ʏᴇᴀʜ, ɪ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ ᴏғ sᴄʀᴇᴡs ᴜᴘ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴏsᴇ
ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏ ᴡᴏʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ’s ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs’ ʙᴇᴅʀᴏᴏᴍ
sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛᴠ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ʟᴏᴏsᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ’s ᴄᴏᴏʟ ғᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴍ ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ʜᴜᴍᴘ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏᴏsᴇ
ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴍ ɪs ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘs, ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴍ ɪs ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘs
ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ ɪ’ᴍ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɪss
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɪᴅs
ᴀɴᴅ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ’s **** ɪs
ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ɪs
ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜɪᴛ ғᴏᴜʀᴛʜ ɢʀᴀᴅᴇ
ᴛʜᴇʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪsᴄᴏᴠᴇʀʏ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ?
ᴡᴇ ᴀɪɴ’ᴛ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴍᴀᴍᴍᴀʟs
ᴡᴇʟʟ, sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴜs, ᴄᴀɴɴɪʙᴀʟs
ᴡʜᴏ *** ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄᴀɴᴛᴀʟᴏᴜᴘᴇs
ʙᴜᴛ ɪғ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴜᴍᴘ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴛᴇʟᴏᴘᴇs
ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ɴᴏ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴇʟᴏᴘᴇ (ᴇᴜɢʜ)
ʙᴜᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ, ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴᴛɪᴅᴏᴛᴇ
ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ ᴡᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀɴᴛʏʜᴏsᴇ, sɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴏʀᴜs ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ɢᴏᴇs
ᴍᴀʏ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ?
ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ?
ɪ ʀᴇᴘᴇᴀᴛ, ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ?
ᴡᴇ’ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇʏ’ᴀʟʟ ᴀᴄᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇɴ ᴀ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ
ᴊᴀᴡs ᴀʟʟ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴘᴀᴍ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏᴍᴍʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴜʀsᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴏʀ
ᴀɴᴅ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴏᴏᴘɪɴ’ ʜᴇʀ ᴀss ᴡᴏʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ
ᴛʜᴇʏ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴅɪᴠᴏʀᴄᴇᴅ, ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɪɴ’ ʜᴇʀ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ғᴜʀɴɪᴛᴜʀᴇ (ᴀʜ)
ɪᴛ’s ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ… “ᴀʜ ᴡᴀɪᴛ, ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢ
ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴀʏ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅ, ᴅɪᴅ ʜᴇ?”
ᴀɴᴅ ᴅʀ. ᴅʀᴇ sᴀɪᴅ, ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴ’, ʏᴏᴜ ɪᴅɪᴏᴛs
ᴅʀ. ᴅʀᴇ’s ᴅᴇᴀᴅ, ʜᴇ’s ʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴀsᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ (ʜᴀʜᴀ)
ғᴇᴍɪɴɪsᴛ ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴇᴍɪɴᴇᴍ
“ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴀ, ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴀ, ᴄʜɪᴄᴋᴀ, sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ɪ’ᴍ sɪᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʜɪᴍ
ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʜɪᴍ, ᴡᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ɢʀᴀʙʙɪɴ’ ʜɪs ʏᴏᴜ-ᴋɴᴏᴡ-ᴡʜᴀᴛ
ғʟɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴏᴜ-ᴋɴᴏᴡ-ᴡʜᴏ” “ʏᴇᴀʜ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ’s sᴏ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ, ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ”
ʏᴇᴀʜ, ɪ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴜᴘʟᴇ ᴏғ sᴄʀᴇᴡs ᴜᴘ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴏsᴇ
ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏ ᴡᴏʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ’s ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛs’ ʙᴇᴅʀᴏᴏᴍ
sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛᴠ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ʟᴏᴏsᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ’s ᴄᴏᴏʟ ғᴏʀ ᴛᴏᴍ ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ʜᴜᴍᴘ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏᴏsᴇ
ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴍ ɪs ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘs, ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴍ ɪs ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘs
ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ ɪ’ᴍ ʟᴜᴄᴋʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɪss
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɪᴅs
ᴀɴᴅ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ’s **** ɪs
ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ɪs
ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜɪᴛ ғᴏᴜʀᴛʜ ɢʀᴀᴅᴇ
ᴛʜᴇʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪsᴄᴏᴠᴇʀʏ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ, ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ?
ᴡᴇ ᴀɪɴ’ᴛ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴍᴀᴍᴍᴀʟs
ᴡᴇʟʟ, sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏғ ᴜs, ᴄᴀɴɴɪʙᴀʟs
ᴡʜᴏ *** ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴄᴀɴᴛᴀʟᴏᴜᴘᴇs
ʙᴜᴛ ɪғ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴜᴍᴘ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴛᴇʟᴏᴘᴇs
ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ɴᴏ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴇʟᴏᴘᴇ (ᴇᴜɢʜ)
ʙᴜᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ, ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴᴛɪᴅᴏᴛᴇ
ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ ᴡᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀɴᴛʏʜᴏsᴇ, sɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴏʀᴜs ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ɢᴏᴇs
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘᴡɪʟʟ sᴍɪᴛʜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ᴄᴜss ɪɴ ʜɪs ʀᴀᴘs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅs (ɴᴏ)
ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ ᴅᴏ – sᴏ *ʙᴇᴇᴘ* ʜɪᴍ ᴀɴᴅ *ʙᴇᴇᴘ* ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴏ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍʏ? (ᴘғғᴛ)
ʜᴀʟғ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄs ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇ
ʙᴜᴛ sʟɪᴍ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪɴ, ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ?
ᴡʜʏ, sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏs ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ
sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙʀɪᴛɴᴇʏ sᴘᴇᴀʀs?
ᴄʜʀɪsᴛɪɴᴀ ᴀɢᴜɪʟᴇʀᴀ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ sᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ᴄʜᴀɪʀs
sᴏ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sɪᴛ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀsᴏɴ ᴅᴀʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴇᴅ ᴅᴜʀsᴛ
ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀ ‘ᴇᴍ ᴀʀɢᴜᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ sʜᴇ ɢᴀᴠᴇ **** ᴛᴏ ғɪʀsᴛ
ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ***** ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ʙʟᴀsᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍᴛᴠ
“ʏᴇᴀʜ ʜᴇ’s ᴄᴜᴛᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʜᴇ’s ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪᴍ, ʜᴇᴇ-ʜᴇᴇ”
ɪ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴʟᴏᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ ᴏɴ ᴍᴘ3
ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴍɪɴᴇᴍ ** (ᴀʜ)
ɪ’ᴍ sɪᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴏʏ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘs, ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴀɴɴᴏʏ ᴍᴇ
sᴏ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴇɴᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇsᴛʀᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴜs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ
ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴜss ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ; ᴡʜᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ **** ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ
ᴡʜᴏ ᴅʀᴇss ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ; ᴡᴀʟᴋ, ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴄᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ʙᴇsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ǫᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘᴡɪʟʟ sᴍɪᴛʜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ᴄᴜss ɪɴ ʜɪs ʀᴀᴘs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅs (ɴᴏ)
ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ ᴅᴏ – sᴏ *ʙᴇᴇᴘ* ʜɪᴍ ᴀɴᴅ *ʙᴇᴇᴘ* ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴏ
ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴍɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍʏ? (ᴘғғᴛ)
ʜᴀʟғ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄs ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ᴍᴇ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇ
ʙᴜᴛ sʟɪᴍ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪɴ, ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ?
ᴡʜʏ, sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏs ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ
sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ sɪᴛ ᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙʀɪᴛɴᴇʏ sᴘᴇᴀʀs?
ᴄʜʀɪsᴛɪɴᴀ ᴀɢᴜɪʟᴇʀᴀ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ sᴡɪᴛᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ᴄʜᴀɪʀs
sᴏ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sɪᴛ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀsᴏɴ ᴅᴀʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴇᴅ ᴅᴜʀsᴛ
ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀ ‘ᴇᴍ ᴀʀɢᴜᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ sʜᴇ ɢᴀᴠᴇ **** ᴛᴏ ғɪʀsᴛ
ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ***** ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴏɴ ʙʟᴀsᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍᴛᴠ
“ʏᴇᴀʜ ʜᴇ’s ᴄᴜᴛᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʜᴇ’s ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪᴍ, ʜᴇᴇ-ʜᴇᴇ”
ɪ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴʟᴏᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ ᴏɴ ᴍᴘ3
ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴍɪɴᴇᴍ ** (ᴀʜ)
ɪ’ᴍ sɪᴄᴋ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴏʏ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘs, ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴀɴɴᴏʏ ᴍᴇ
sᴏ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴇɴᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇsᴛʀᴏʏ ʏᴏᴜ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴜs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ
ᴡʜᴏ ᴄᴜss ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ; ᴡʜᴏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ **** ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ
ᴡʜᴏ ᴅʀᴇss ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ; ᴡᴀʟᴋ, ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴄᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ʙᴇsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ǫᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘɪ’ᴍ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʀɪᴘ ᴛᴏ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ɢɪᴠɪɴ’ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴɢs
ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴏᴋᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ʀᴏᴏᴍ
ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪs ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀʟʟs ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ ɪᴛ
ɪɴ ғʀᴏɴᴛ ᴏғ ʏ’ᴀʟʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʙᴇ ғᴀʟsᴇ ᴏʀ sᴜɢᴀʀᴄᴏᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ
ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴄ ᴀɴᴅ sᴘɪᴛ ɪᴛ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴍɪᴛ ɪᴛ, ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ **** ɪᴛ
ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ 90% ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴀᴘᴘᴇʀs ᴏᴜᴛ ᴄᴀɴ
ᴛʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ᴋɪᴅs ᴇᴀᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴀʟʙᴜᴍs ʟɪᴋᴇ ****
ɪᴛ’s ғᴜɴɴʏ; ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀᴛᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ
ɪ’ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴜʀsɪɴɢ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ғʟɪʀᴛɪɴ’
ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ sɪɴɢʟᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪs ᴀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ʟᴜʀᴋɪɴɢ
ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ʙᴜʀɢᴇʀ ᴋɪɴɢ, sᴘɪᴛᴛɪɴ’ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏɴɪᴏɴ ʀɪɴɢs
ᴏʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴋɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴛ, ᴄɪʀᴄʟɪɴɢ
sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴ’ “ɪ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ****”
ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡs ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪs sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ᴜᴘ
sᴏ, ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ғɪɴɢᴇʀs ᴏɴ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ʜᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ?
ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴏᴜᴛᴛᴀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛᴛᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʟᴏᴜᴅ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ, ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏᴇs ɪᴛ ɢᴏ?
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘɪ’ᴍ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʀɪᴘ ᴛᴏ ʟɪsᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ɢɪᴠɪɴ’ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴɢs
ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴏᴋᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ʀᴏᴏᴍ
ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪs ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀʟʟs ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ ɪᴛ
ɪɴ ғʀᴏɴᴛ ᴏғ ʏ’ᴀʟʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʙᴇ ғᴀʟsᴇ ᴏʀ sᴜɢᴀʀᴄᴏᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ
ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪᴄ ᴀɴᴅ sᴘɪᴛ ɪᴛ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴍɪᴛ ɪᴛ, ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ **** ɪᴛ
ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ 90% ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴀᴘᴘᴇʀs ᴏᴜᴛ ᴄᴀɴ
ᴛʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ʜᴏᴡ ᴄᴀɴ ᴋɪᴅs ᴇᴀᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴀʟʙᴜᴍs ʟɪᴋᴇ ****
ɪᴛ’s ғᴜɴɴʏ; ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀᴛᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ
ɪ’ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴜʀsɪɴɢ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ғʟɪʀᴛɪɴ’
ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ sɪɴɢʟᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪs ᴀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ʟᴜʀᴋɪɴɢ
ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ʙᴜʀɢᴇʀ ᴋɪɴɢ, sᴘɪᴛᴛɪɴ’ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏɴɪᴏɴ ʀɪɴɢs
ᴏʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴋɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴛ, ᴄɪʀᴄʟɪɴɢ
sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴ’ “ɪ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴀ ****”
ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs ᴡɪɴᴅᴏᴡs ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪs sʏsᴛᴇᴍ ᴜᴘ
sᴏ, ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ғɪɴɢᴇʀs ᴏɴ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ʜᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ?
ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴏᴜᴛᴛᴀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛᴛᴀ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ
ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʟᴏᴜᴅ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ, ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏᴇs ɪᴛ ɢᴏ?
ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘʜᴀʜᴀ, ɢᴜᴇss ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ᴀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ɪɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴏғ ᴜs
ʟᴇᴛ’s ᴀʟʟ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ, ʏᴇs, ɪ’ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʜᴀᴅʏ
ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɪᴍɪᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ
sᴏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘʜᴀʜᴀ, ɢᴜᴇss ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ᴀ sʟɪᴍ sʜᴀᴅʏ ɪɴ ᴀʟʟ ᴏғ ᴜs
ʟᴇᴛ’s ᴀʟʟ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴜᴘ
