If Only I Could Wait Lyrics Meaning | Bon Iver
“If only I could wait
If only I could wait”
Right from the beginning, Bon Iver sets a tone of yearning. These words are simple but heavy—he wishes he had the patience or strength to wait, perhaps for healing, for love, or for clarity. It’s as if something important is just out of reach, and he’s caught in that fragile space between wanting and needing.
“If only I could wait
But before me is a ways out
Can I live inside this state?
Where the summers are charades now
Can I incur the weight?
Am I really this afraid now?”
Here, Bon Iver is wrestling with time and uncertainty. He’s trying to exist in a place that once felt real but now feels like an illusion—summertime, which should be vibrant and full, now feels fake. The “charades” speak to a world that no longer matches his inner experience. He’s asking himself if he can bear the emotional weight and whether fear is what’s really holding him back. It’s deeply introspective—quiet but aching.
“Ah, ah
For what’s at stake
Oh, babe
I’ll take the pain”
In these few lines, Bon Iver lays it bare: whatever the cost, he’s willing to endure the hurt for the sake of what matters. It’s a vow of love, resilience, or perhaps both. The melody behind this moment likely lifts the emotion even more, but the lyrics alone carry a sense of sacrifice—choosing pain if it means preserving something meaningful.
“If only you could wait
I ain’t up at your pace yet
I take the steps to stage
And they hit me with the rays now
But if I could only pray
In the blaze of a northern bar
I’d bend another straight
We’ll decay in other ways now”
Bon Iver now flips the perspective—it’s no longer just about him waiting, but also wishing that they could wait too. He feels behind, overwhelmed, trying to catch up to someone moving faster than he can handle. The image of a northern bar burning bright is beautifully sad—he’s caught in intensity, possibly fame or emotional exposure. He speaks of trying to straighten out or fix something but realizing that decay will come, just differently. It’s haunting and honest.
“(I, I know that it’s hard) if only you could wait
Or is it folded either way now? (To keep holding)
The common leads away (keep holding strong)
But is it only years away now? (Keep holding on)
I have come to learn replace (I, I know that it’s best)
And I resemble other traits of the Lord (to keep going)
I have rendered other fates (these memories hold)
And I’ve been prowling on the brakes now (these memories fade)”
This verse is layered and poetic. Bon Iver acknowledges how hard it is to keep holding on. There’s a conversation happening here—part internal, part external—like he’s trying to convince himself or someone else to keep going. He reflects on spiritual change, identity, memory, and fate. “Prowling on the brakes” is a stunning phrase—it shows he’s slowing down, resisting forward movement, possibly out of fear or reflection. It’s spiritual, emotional, and deeply human.
“Ah, ah
But what a taste
Oh, babe
In every way
Not for the freight
I’m best alone
In highways
Mm-hm-mm”
The closing thoughts are bittersweet. Bon Iver acknowledges how beautiful and powerful the connection was—“what a taste”—but maybe it’s not something he can carry with him. “Not for the freight” implies he can’t bear the emotional cost, the weight that comes with closeness. So he chooses solitude, finding peace or survival in the freedom of movement, symbolized by highways. It’s a lonely choice, but one that feels necessary.
